Thursday, February 12, 2009

A new adventure

Well, here I am on a new adventure. While it's not what I would have liked for an adventure, it's the path that was chosen for me. I'm on a bunch of medications that are working a little. If they don't start working better by monday, I'll call the doctor and see if we can get them adjusted. So far the Gabapentin is working ok, probably need to up the dosage. The muscle relaxer, Robaxin, dosen't seem to be working for me. I have not noticed any change in that respect, my muscles still ache, and they twitch and spasm at night still, so I'm not getting a tremendous amout of sleep. The Amatriptyline for sleep doesn't seem to be working either. It's supposed to knock me out cold, but I have been taking it at about 8:30 pm, and falling asleep somewhere around midnight, then waking up every 2 hrs or so throughout the night. That doesn't sound like it's working does it?

I am not pleased that I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. It scares me a little to think that I'll be on medications for the rest of my life, and that I'll have to rearrange my life so much to learn to live with this disease, but, I'm grateful that it's something that can be treated, and will not cost me my life. I'm doing as much research as I can personally to learn more about this condition and how to cope with it. I intend to live a happy and fulfilled life, even though I've got this condition. I will learn to manage, and pace myself, and talk to my body. Nobody knows my body better than me, and I need to be the one listening to it and learning from it. I feel like, even though I have Fibromyalgia I can still life a full life, doing fun things, cooking, cleaning, being a good wife and mother. I'm not going to put my life on hold, just because I don't feel good. I can do things to make it better, and the medications can be adjusted to suit my needs, so I've got nothing to worry about. God is in control of everything, and he's still got a plan for me. I need to press closer to Him. I need to not lose my faith in Him. He will help me through this if I just trust in Him. That's a point I really need to remember. TRUST IN HIM!!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Bad day anyone?

Today has been a horrible day. Ok, so this whole week has been bad. Some of you know that I've had constant pain in my knees, back, neck and muscle aches. I have suffered from insomnia for more than a year, and chronic migraines and headaches. So I finally broke down today and went to the doctor. He spent almost 45 minutes with me, which is unheard of at this office. We talked, I told him what was going on and how frustrated I've been with this seemingly invisible problem. My blood tests are normal, my urine tests are normal, I had a CT scan that was normal, ultrasounds which were all normal. For all accounts, they could find nothing wrong with me. After going through all of this for the last year and a half, my new doctor actually sat down and looked me in the eye. I started crying, because I finally felt like someone cared! I told him all my issues, told him that I was beginning to think there was something wrong with my head, like I was going crazy. I've complained about all of these problems for years, and according to all accounts "I am normal and there's nothing wrong with me". Nobody understood, until this new doctor. He poked around different parts of my body, squished my muscles, and actually pulled my chart up on the computer! As he was looking and talking and poking and prodding, he finally connected the dots. I have a diagnosis, and I'm not crazy! I have fibromyalgia. While it's a crummy diagnosis, and it certainly isn't something I WANT to have, I'm glad to know I am not crazy, and I am not going to die. It's just a nice feeling to be understood, and listened to. It's something that will be manageable, but it will take time to figure out which concoction of medications will help me the best and make my life easier. I am now on 6 different daily medications, and I'm praying that these will work, and if not, this doctor will help me find the combination that will. It's a bad day, but it a good day. Hard to explain the feelings right now. Might be the new meds, who knows.